There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
