No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize