She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
