I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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