That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
