He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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