if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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