If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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