So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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