Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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