Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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