Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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