pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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