Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
