the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
