He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
