One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
