if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
