I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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