Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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