You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
