Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
