I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
