my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize