so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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