He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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