Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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