For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
