Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
