well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
