Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
