your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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