Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
