yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you made out with another girl for some wings
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
