Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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