i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
