Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
