If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize