Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
