...so i touched it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
