We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
