Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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