Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
