I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
