So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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