No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
