you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
