Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
