I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
