You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
