I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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