piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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