will power is for people who don't want to get laid
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
