Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
soo... how was my night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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