I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
