where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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