I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
