id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
