Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I want a musical about memes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
