craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize