i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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