Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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