It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
