I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
