THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Randomize
