Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
