You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
