do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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