He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
