Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
