She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
